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“Your texts, calls, and emails go unanswered or unreturned for no apparent reason, and then he reappears a few days or weeks later, without any explanation as to what happened or where he was,” explains Sansone-Braff.There are many explanations for why this might happen (he’s extremely busy with work, family, or dating other people), but all of them point to slim chances that he’s interested in a committed relationship.This is a bad sign in general, Spillman says, but it can be especially indicative of an inability to commit.

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“Any guy who is truly committed wants to show his lady off to family.” Similarly, “someone who will never commit to you will probably never invite you to come out and join him with his friends,” Bregman points out.

“Often these important events go unmentioned or apparently unnoticed.” If he doesn’t want to spend a day that’s important to you with you, it shows you where he thinks he belongs in your life—nowhere.

Especially his parents—if they’re on good terms and live within a reasonable distance.

These kinds of mixed messages show that even if he does say he’s ready to make things official, you may not be able to trust his word.

Avoiding major life events and holidays is a classic commitment-phobic move, according to Sansone-Braff, and he might not even realize he’s doing it.

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