We locked eyes and the crowd parted as she sauntered over to me. There was no script, but we were often told what to say.
The producer was a hip looking lady named Fatima, with a chiseled faced and a bald head. The first day of shooting was the “audition” for the parents.
She asked me a lot of personal questions about my life and my interests. But it’s cool; I’m excited to be on the show with her.”I found out later that Klarissa heard everything. I had dozens of needles sticking in my face and body; it actually felt pretty good.
We must have talked for a half an hour when a flustered young girl walked by, flanked my many crew members. In a manipulative move I hadn’t expected, the producers gave my friendly crew member a hidden microphone and Klarissa a connected earpiece. I remember feeling like I was floating off the table. After that we tried to choke down a disgusting dim sum lunch at a Chinese restaurant and capped off the date by tossing coins into a wishing well around the corner. I’m not going to describe the date in detail because you can watch the video on my You Tube channel.
Opposite him is Tyler, a clean-cut tan-skinned model, and the living incarnation of California.“I do hate to do this, but I have to eliminate one of you guys right now,” Klarissa says in her best impression of sincerity.
The show isn’t scripted, but she makes it sound that way. Three months earlier I was on tour in Long Beach California with my punk rock band 5 Days Dirty.
I was sleeping in our beat-up tour van when my phone rang.
The weirdest part is the parents watch the date the current boyfriend/girlfriend.”The most important thing to me at this point in my life was becoming famous, so this was news I couldn’t pass up.As I ran up to their location I could see a crowd of would-be actors surrounding the producer. They was the perfect balance of love, lust, bad one-liners, and humiliation. I'm surprised my mom let me watch all of these as obsessively as I did. From digging through a stranger's underwear drawer to "nexting" someone at first sight, these were train wrecks we couldn't stop watching.Lucky for you, I'm going to help you relive all those amazing moments. The parents interview candidates to date their son or daughter.